hallow chestnut,
the mind is dull, sharpen it with a grinder
grinding write now whatever
even if it sounds shitty
this is our time.
until all the flies leave
Im shitting flies out of my stomach
sit with it. five senses
roses are red, the mind is dull
dull dull bullying judgement. shame sets in monotonous motions
whatever that means
“I don’t know” on repeat stupid
give me some stimulants the sounds sound all alike
I wonder when I will wake up,
why is anxiety on the cover of Time for our country?
There is time, so much time
fine for now grizzly bear
The heart is broken so boring
Your nuts are against my butt
what is love?
green cups for christmas
Smells like hot coffee on a rainy day, that doesn’t really smell, silly
stop it
extend the arm over your head
indulging, eyeballs bulging
coming together now,
I wish.
Silver toenails set against salmon walls
I want to show how I feel but if could
I wouldnt be pacing the hospital for 5 days
wondering where is it?
Ebbing, waiting for the meds to flow forward. I want to throw up how stupid this is. smiling like I feel it, fake it til you make it you say, johnny is the first name that I can think of the kid with the red hair and blue hat on the corner of PB street lights. Whitening teeth seeping saliva abilify and lamictal Im in my room all day writing stupid streams. dying dying dying dying dying dying dying, just smile from the inside, empty chestnut, you smell so good. lying down chewing on you helps me smile for a second savoring the taste of your kindness.
A sweet 10th grade student, in one of the classes I volunteer in, got her progress report today… she has a 0.00 GPA. And so do most of her classmates. She tells me she’s been getting Fs since 6th grade and that it’s hard for her to focus… so she doesn’t do her work -to read a 5th grade level article - because it’s difficult. Her dad calls her stupid and makes her feel afraid at home. She also doesn’t want to do the writing assignment because she’s scared of what she writes will sound stupid. She wants to be a nurse or a social worker.
Playing fields are not fair. What can you do? Don’t give up.
I have so many things to do! :) VS I have to do so many things! :(
simple switching around of words + smiley faces… I wonder if it would help stress-prone thinkers? I’ll give it a try this week.
singing swings, feet sweeping sand, sweet kicks. melody moving from your mouth, I flow forward, to remember what it feels like again to be a kid kindly keeping secrets smiling I slash blood. the rattling of the shopping cart, reminds me to be present to your sensitive gentleness, I’ll hold myself. Caution beating a silent shout, knives, knives. out casting fears, bouncing heads and knees, I sat with a mask on wondering where I could stand in the white light waiting room. close your eyes, she said, imagine a rose in front of you and putting all your fears and worries in it. now put a firecracker it. feel your body being cleansed of the negative energy. now refill it with your energy, your desires. imagine a sun with magnet in the center of it on the top of your head, imagine the magnet attracting all of your positive wishes and power. Now crack the sun like the egg and fill the cells from your head to your toes with this energy, feel it grounding you.
my observation of human nature:
How one judges another, is more likely a reflection of the judger’s character than the truth of the judged’s nature.
example: if you judge someone is lazy or inferior/superior, that’s more likely saying something about your standards and perceptions about the world and self, than it is a reflection of that person’s actual nature (he/she might be truly lazy or etc in that situation, but his/her actual nature is not indefinitely so)
myworldissuffocatingme asked: Talking to someone won't fix it...
you’re right. but it can help ease the pain. You’re not alone. And You can’t do it alone.
What do you want? What do think would help? What’s bothering you right now and if you could do anything to change your situation, how would you?
Have you tried counseling? it’s taken me 3 psychologists, some meds (on and off), alot of spiritual seeking, alot of falling down, life style changes, changing the way I think (that’s hard, but its mental exercise), alot of reading, talking to people- not just any people, but people who are with it enough to empathize and inspire…
I’ve been dealing with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for about 4 years now… nothing FIXED the pain and confusion.. nothing has made it go away forever… but somethings have definitely helped keep me alive and and brought me joy - everything is temporary. The joy is temporary but its worth staying alive for. THe pain is also temporary, even if it doesnt feel like it, so its not worth dying over. My name is Minh btw.
